My pants were soaked in mud and covered in sand. I looked around once I had caught my breath and managed to get Schuyler back on leash. Finally, I yanked my boots up and crawled toward the sandy area that was more steady. Somehow I was able to push my body up with my hands on the sinking sand, like a drunkard trying to pull herself backwards onto a barstool. I wiggled my hips and was able to get just enough traction that I could lean back. I felt my face grow hot and my neck sweat as I grit my teeth. The anger had finally reached a boiling point. So when this volcanic burst of anger came shooting out of me, it was both shocking and utterly unsurprising. ![]() I told him each day that, in all sincerity, I was too depressed to even come up with a plan to end my life, much less execute it. My husband would ask me, "You gonna be okay today?" as he left for work. With quicksand up to my thighs already, I was catching flashes of myself neck deep and then buried.īut then I was overcome by an anger that had been simmering well below the surface all winter. There were no other people around that would be close enough to hear me yell. 'I'm in Fourth Grade, I Built a Robotic Sanitizer Dispenser'.'We Re-Created Vintage Ads With Racially Diverse, LGBTQ Models'.'At 23, I Discovered I Had a Secret Sister'.Her leash was in my hand, so she could not pull a Lassie lifeguard and pull me out. Schuyler leaped and panted she seemed to think this was a fun game I was playing. They were effectively forming a seal around my pants so that I could not yank my feet out of the boots. My boots, normally perfect for wet terrain, were heavy and worked against me. As I yanked one foot up, the other sunk further down. I realized I wasn't hitting a hard bottom. I followed her but soon I found that my dog was happily doing figure eights-while my feet were sinking. Here the tide was very shallow, the beach seemed to stretch for half a mile before meeting the water. I got closer to her and she pranced ahead and that is when she began to make her way out across the shallow tidepools. I let Schuyler off-leash as all she wanted to do was chase seagulls.Īs she neared a part of the beach where a tiny yacht club sits on stilts, she turned to see if I was following her under the pedestrian underpass. The wind whipping my hair, the sun glinting off the waves, the sand softly padding my steps. That afternoon was as untethered as I had felt for a very long time. There were a few other people walking along Quincy Shore, an inlet of Quincy Bay that empties into the Boston Harbor. One day after work in mid-April, I donned my knee-high wellington boots and piled Schuyler into the car and we headed to a beach where dogs are allowed up until Memorial Day Weekend. The depression pushed me out of myself and pulled me under like a fierce undertow. On my train rides home from work, I sat and cried as the undercurrent of being depressed would swell and cover me, as a large wave. The mounting anxiety and depression that plagued me from the time I woke up to the time I finally fell asleep in an uneven haze was unrelenting. Last year was my first Boston winter as a pet owner, and I was especially envious of my dog's patter. She lopes high over snowbanks, disappearing into the snow for a moment, and then shooting right up again, always in the same level bounds. ![]() When your legs are free, try rolling to the side, or make 'swimming' motions to move yourself toward solid land.My dog Schuyler runs like she is part dolphin. Keep your head up and stay calm, as this can take a long time. It that fails, you can attempt to free your legs by leaning back so that your body weight is spread over a larger area and 'floating'. If you lose a boot, that's not the end of the world. Next, see if you can take a few steps and back out of it. If you're wearing a backpack, toss it onto solid land so you're lighter and can move more freely. If you do find your foot sinking, start by ditching as much weight as possible. However, it's not always possible to spot the danger ahead of time. If you're not sure whether it's safe to proceed, using a trekking pole to probe the ground in front of you can help you avoid trouble. "Nights are still cold in the canyons, but even during a warm day, wet sand can reduce body temperatures causing a serious exposure issue," said the Bureau of Land Management.įirst of all, watch out for signs such as sandy terrain that looks rippled, or has water bubbling up to the surface.
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